Glad I only paid $1.50

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT
So I get a text message last night about 7pm saying "meeting at sticky shoe to see 2012 at 9."  Well, after a short texversation it was decided that I would leave home the second Criminal Minds was over.  I walked into the movie about three minutes into it.

Besides the blatantly obvious conclusion, it was a decent movie.  It was a typical story of the government knowing about a natural disaster, making preparations, selling "safety nets" to the rich, a lone man finds out about it, works his butt off trying to save his family which consists of him, his ex-wife, two children, and the ex-wife's boyfriend.  There's the brainiac who is looked at at being somewhat inferior.  The brainiac's superior who's only worried about one thing.  Saving his own ass and the plan.  (Okay, so two things.)  The brainiac's love interest who is always the daughter of some "powerful" big-wig (who happens to be the president of the United States and is almost always some minority, whether it be a black man or a woman.  (Or a combination of the two.)  And then you've got the minor characters towards the end who help the lone man and his family...often at their own peril.  There's always the older "foreigner" jerk.  The one who is rich and trys to buy his way out of trouble.  He has a girlfriend half his age.  And two children from his ex-wife.  Who both (the older "foreigner" jerk and the girlfriend) die at the end. And don't forget the OFJ is always a dick until the very end of the movie when he fulfills his one redeeming moment. 

And then you've got the people who play important parts in the story, but really don't do much else except die to save the lives of the lone man, the ex-wife, two children, the ex-wife's boyfriend, the OFJ, his girlfriend and children by "landing" a plane on ice as the "group" exits the plane in some fashion that would make James Bond and MacGyver proud, as the group watches said plane with the pilot fall off a cliff.  (Yeah, I didn't see that coming! *rolls eyes*)

We mustn't forget the crazy person who was right the whole time.  And of course, he dies as well.  But he dies early on.  The crazy person, though, does have an opportunity to save his life, offered by the lone man, but he refuses, deciding instead to stay and watch all hell break loose and proclaim to no one but the audience in the movie theatre (who is bored to tears at this point) that he was right all along.

Towards the end of the movie the lone man and the group find a way to board the "saving" vessel that will take them to safety from whatever the pending disaster may be.  Whether they sneak on or board "legally."  And then you've got the expected malfunctions in the "saving" vessel that the lone man must go and fix.  He completes his mission but doesn't return.  Well, until the required "suspenseful" moment when the music suddenly stops and he appears.  Alive.  Unharmed.  (I forgot to mention the ex-wife's boyfriend always dies.)

So what movie am I describing?  Well, 2012, but really, this could be ANY movie from the genre.  Titanic, Deep Impact, Armagedon, Independence Day, Dante's Peak, Volcano...This particular genre of movie reminds me of a Gilbert and Sullivan opera.  Essentially every single one has the same basic plot with only slight variations.  The music sounds the same.  And they star the same type of actor.  The good looking ones who can't act to save their lives. 

Sure I'll probably buy it when it goes to the $5 bin at Walmart, but until then...I'll be renewing my season subscription to the opera.